I’ve never cared for cabbage but, a few years ago, my wife lightly sautéed some in real butter and it wasn’t bad. Since then, she’s served it to me scorched in pan-leavings from the meat course with a splash of olive oil and doesn’t understand why I don’t like it so well. On those rare occasions when she fixes it anymore, I just agree with her how great it is and choke it down. The smell alone has always been a turn-off for me. My wife gets angry when I tell her that it smells like it “done been et once.”
Recently, though, I’ve eaten wild greens a couple times, and enjoyed them, but she tells that my greens smell up the house. I can’t always get them when I want them anyway, so I told my wife to pick me up a few cans of spinach when she bought groceries. She came back with a couple cans of spinach and a couple of cans of collards. I’d never eaten collards, but the second I opened the can, I knew that they were in the cabbage family! They had some smoke flavoring added and actually didn’t taste bad. They tasted even better heated with some chopped up sausage in them.
Suddenly, my wife came running from the back room screaming that I’d stunk up the whole house! I told her the collards just smelled like her cooked cabbage, but she said they were far worse. (Actually, I think she’s right, but I won’t tell her that!) There was too much for me for one sitting, so I covered them up and put them in the fridge. I got two more servings from them and, of course, my wife howled both times. I have since promised never to eat collards inside the house again, and told her to donate the other can to the food pantry. I bet she won’t mind my greens quite as much now! © 2013-