Saturday, June 8, 2013

Trimmin' The 'Brows

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“D’ya want me to get the eyebrows?” the barber asked. I told him that yes, if I wanted to make a better appearance when applying for work, it would be a good idea. Usually, I trim my own eyebrows, but I’d been a bit lax lately. If I don’t take a whack at them once in a while, I start looking like I might be related to John L. Lewis or Leonid Brezhnev. If you’re younger than 50, you probably won’t have any idea who those guys were. I don’t have a unibrow and my eyebrows aren’t really that heavy, but they just keep growing, now that I’m old and geezerly, so they can get a little shaggy.

It was later that very day that I paid the price for my laziness. You see, my way of trimming them is to use the scissors to trim only any hair that sticks beyond the “hairline” of the brow. The barber’s way of trimming them is to run a comb into them and use the clippers to trim off everything that sticks up above the teeth. Quick and precise, BUT, it doesn’t leave enough eyebrow to serve the purpose for which the good Lord made them. Not only do normal eyebrows help keep a certain amount of dirt from falling into your eye, they also hold a lot of sweat that would otherwise run into your eye. If they DO get over-loaded with perspiration, they often allow it to drip out away from the eye, or redirect it to the sides of your head to where it misses the eye. As I worked in the yard that evening, I spent more time than I am accustomed to wiping sweat from my forehead, before it could run into my eyes.

At least I HAVE eyebrows. I get tickled at the women who shave theirs off, pluck them out or have them removed with electrolysis, only to draw new ones up to an inch higher than the originals. In their minds, this makes their eye look bigger and sexier. To me, if it goes too extreme, it just makes them look like a distant relative of the banjo-picking kid on Deliverance, or maybe some alien from Star Trek. Guess I’m just weird that way. In MY mind, one of the most attractive women going is some Canadian actress, whose name I never remember, who has big, black, bushy eyebrows, but underneath those brows is one of the softest-looking and alluring set of eyes I’ve ever seen. (Hey, I’m OLD, not DEAD!) I bet she doesn’t get a lot of sweat in her eyes, either! ;-) © 2013
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3 comments:

Phillip said...

Bushy eyebrows that's my second name. I'm thinking of having some of them transplanted to the top of my head where I have no hair.

Chickenmom said...

Just kept picturing Betty Davis' and Joan Crawford's eyebrows......

Gorges Smythe said...

That might work, Phillip! lol

Good point, Cm.