Sunday, September 8, 2013

Another Day, Another Walmart

Hanging out at Walmart is a form of entertainment for those who are really poor, or really bored I guess. Since we’re a bit of both, now that I’m not working, my wife wants to go there quite often anymore. As for me, I don’t bore too easily; I could sit on a stump and watch two pissants fight and be entertained. Still, I have to make allowances for those less eclectic in their interests, so here I sit. It was a little too hot to stay in the truck, so I brought my laptop into the restaurant located inside the front door. I discovered on the drive here that the air-conditioner needs recharged in my truck. It’s out of warranty by two years and 60,000 miles, so it’s time for it to start falling apart I reckon.

A guy was supposed to call about meeting me here to buy the last of my coins. Unfortunately, my phone is at home on my desk from where he called before and I forgot to put it back in my jeans. Better luck next time, I guess. I’m not sure he would have showed up anyway. He struck me as a lonely soul just wanting someone to talk to. It’s a good thing the Lord doesn’t let us see into the future, or a lot of folks would end their days early. Getting old is for the birds, getting old with no-one around who cares about you—doubly so.

Speaking of old, I can’t stand rap. It ain’t music in my book; it’s rude, crude, lewd attitude with a beat. If you listen to the words, it’s soon obvious that anyone who’s into mainstream rap is nothing but a low-life, pathological piece of trash. That being said, I was sitting in the truck the other day, waiting for my wife to get done window-shopping in the craft store, when a car pulled by me and into the space in front of me. The rap was almost rattling my windows as he sat there, so I got out to ask him if he could turn it down a little, and was shocked that it was a white-headed old man that was playing the racket. Perhaps my disgust was reflected in my voice, for his answer was “no, I CAN”T.” A few minutes later, a lawn service guy started mowing the patch of grass beside us, so I moved half-way across the parking lot to keep from getting doubly deafened. Wouldn’t you know that the old codger started driving by my new location and cranking his radio (stereo?) up as he passed. He may not have had the right music for his age, but he certainly had the right attitude for his music! I guess we all handling aging differently.

Speaking of silly old men, another interesting scene transpired in that same location about five years ago. A little red MG or Triumph convertible whisked into a slot in the next row and two grey-headed old geezers started trying to slide their legs rearward and their butts upward to exit the car without opening the doors. Their awkwardness, and obvious stiffness, made it nearly impossible for me to remain quiet, but I stifled my laughter and kept watching. The driver was a string-bean, and the passenger was a bit heavy, giving a Laurel and Hardy appearance to the comedy. I don’t believe I ever saw two people take as long to extricate themselves from an automobile. A few minutes later, they returned and repeated the process in reverse. THAT took even longer. Whether the doors didn’t work, or whether they were trying to relive a time that they could blithely slip in and out of a convertible, I don’t know, but it sure made for a fun time for me!

LATER – On the trip home, it was 90 degrees in the north end of town; half-a-mile into the country it had dropped to 86. I forgot to check what it was when we got home, but I have seen it as much as 11 degrees cooler out here in the boonies. Incidentally, Mr. Lonely hadn’t called about the coins; I hope he had some Sunday company. © 2013


Sunnybrook Farm said...

You kept me entertained with those stories for awhile. I have to say that I have no desire to go to walmart, besides having got expensive while still having lowest price signs every where(if the president can lie why can't they, people are obviously stupid), I just don't like the atmosphere and lack of service.
One reason that global warming really took of is that they have the weather station in the hot areas of cities where duh the temperature is higher.
I don't go to town much, if I do I am on a mission and get out quickly.

Sixbears said...

It's like the saying goes: there's no fool like an old fool.

JaneofVirginia said...

I feel the same way about Wal-Mart, Gorges. We certainly agree about Rap Music too ! Thanks for such an entertaining post.

Gorges Smythe said...

I'm with you on Walmart and town both, SF.

I sure hope we avoid the trap, Sixbears!

Glad you enjoyed the post, Jane.

Pumice said...

As one who is officially old I must confess that age and wisdom are not synonyms. But then you knew that already.

Grace and peace.

Gorges Smythe said...

That's true, Pumice.

Tania @ Out Back said...

Haha sounds like you had a good day then. I have to agree with you about rap music, which is an insult to music! I add the letter C to the front of rap and that better describes it lol!

I have no interest in shopping centres, I couldn't think of anything worse to do with my time...

I pictured your stories in my head as I was reading, thank you for making me smile this fine evening :)

I haven't been around blogland much lately, have been keeping very busy :)

Gorges Smythe said...

I'm glad you enjoyed some of my stories, Tania, and that you had a few moments to sit down!

Scooney Adrift said...

I have been a "people watcher" for years, and find Wally*World to be a premier spot.
Regarding the old geezer and his rap music and actions, I bet he makes his family proud!

Gorges Smythe said...

Walmart certainly never lets you down for entertainment, Scooney! The rap-loving geezer reminded me of the old men back in the disco era that went around with their shirts unbuttoned to their navels and had gold chains hanging down their chests.

Mamahen said...

You should hear the rap song the hubby wrote, of course that would have to be an " in person" meeeting, and careful who else may be within hearing distance at the time lol.