Sunday, October 19, 2014

Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot?

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I was a bit of a bunghole in my younger days. I was the sort of kid that I wouldn’t seek to know better if I were to meet one as an adult. As might be expected, a lot of kids didn’t seek to know me any better back then; and who could blame them? As a result, I was often one of those “on the outside looking in” sort of characters. I gradually learned, though, that MOST folks are bungholes at heart, so there was more to it than that.

I hadn’t read Thoreau at the time, so I sort of had to figure things out on my own, but people tend to be friends with those whose company benefits them in some way. Sometimes it’s in social standing. Other times, it’s monetarily or for access to services or other things. Occasionally, it’s just because someone makes them feel good about themselves. The latter isn’t a bad thing at all, but it’s still a benefit in a way.

Craig was a city kid who had a burning interest in the outdoors, so we clicked pretty well. We spent a lot of time together through junior high and high school, hunting and fishing on my family’s land, though he and I had other friends. Still, I considered Craig my BEST friend. As he got older, though, he turned into a dope-head and our interests began to diverge. When he and his girlfriend decided to get married unexpectedly, his friend, Tony, was the only person invited. I don’t know if it had anything to do with Tony being a good photographer or not. Still, when I got married a couple years later, I asked Craig to be my best man. Two weeks before the wedding, though, I found out that I was included on the long list of guys that he thought wanted to steal his wife from him. After the wedding, I didn’t bother going around him anymore. I continued to let him hunt and camp on our property when he asked, but he gradually quit asking.

I met Tim in high school. He was an over-achiever of sorts and had more money and possessions than most kids his age, but it was because he worked for them. His dad had a good job and they lived well. We chummed around a good bit for a few years, and I noticed that he didn’t seem to keep friends very long. When he started getting friends with more money than I, and who had other property that he could hunt, we began drifting apart. I haven’t seen him now for 20 years.

Mick married into a family at the church where I used to attend. He was a hunting son-of-a-gun back when I needed a real deer-slayer to protect my Christmas trees. We never hunted together, but we talked a lot, and he ate venison all year. I never saw much of him once I sold the farm, of course, since I’d also quit attending that church. The other day, he was in the office at work and pretended that he didn’t notice me as I checked with the boss about what time to come in the following morning. It’s no skin off my nose, but I hadn’t thought of him being that sort of fellow.


Will I try to forget these fellows? No, I had a lot of good times with them, but I AM a little disappointed in them, especially Craig, and I won’t be trying to renew their acquaintance. For the most part, I believe that Thoreau was right. © 2014
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10 comments:

Sixbears said...

Like I tell my wife, just because someone is an old friend doesn't mean they are a good friend.

buddeshepherd said...

Interesting post. I haven't really kept up with my friends. Often I find I don't really have much to say. It is not that I don't like them. I just live in my own little world. Don't know what that says about me...

Phillip said...

I'm an introvert, spent more time with books than people. Never had many friends. As a kid I was called a snob, hardly knew what the word meant.

Mamahen said...

I guess we never get to old to wish for acceptance.... Some memories are bittersweet .

Gorges Smythe said...

That's VERY true, Sixbears.

Budd, I think it just says that you no longer have much in common with them. I suspect that you have no trouble talking to folks you share more interests with.

Shy people often are labeled as snobs, Phillip. Maybe that's better than being overly outgoing and labeled as something else. lol

I suppose you're right, Mh.

Chickenmom said...

Would only like to see one of my childhood friends again. Haven't seen her for over 50 years. I've looked all over the internet and can't find her. I'm a bit of a loner, so that's why no one ties to find me!

M. Silvius said...

You are not alone. Its sad but things never stay the same. People change with the years. It is even worse when you move about and are never in one place for more than a couple of year as it was for most of my youth. You don't even have the sense that you are from some place. I suppose that is why I don't like high-school reunions. After attending a couple I realized I had nothing in common with them, and most of them had become A---s. But them perhaps they always were and I am just looking at the past wishing it wasn't so. Heck, I can't stand any of my own blood relatives. Can't change things, but can't ignore the sense of loss either. Can't change the past, and there is no sense in crying over a scoop of ice-cream that fell off your cone. I am hoping there is something I can do about tomorrow.

Gorges Smythe said...

I'm a bit of a loner these days myself, Cm. Sorry you can't find your friend. Do you know anyone still who knew her?

The only one we can count on is the Lord, Michael; and something better IS coming for those who trust in Him.

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

People come and go. I just assume if they are not interested in acknowledging you, they are not worth your time. I have found some that were way "cooler" than I was; therefore did not hang out with me, are now really great people. It goes both ways.

Gorges Smythe said...

Yes, Kathy, we all have a lot of people drift in and out of our lives. As for the other, I guess some people grow up, even if some others never do.