Friday, January 30, 2015

A Brilliant Idea Shot Down By Management

There are days that the wheels of my truck rarely stop, and I spend most of the day without needing to climb out of the cab for business reasons. Often, the customers come right to my truck door to sign the invoice. At one of the main yards where we load, there’s no need to even get out at the scale, as they have a “drive-thru” window. The mine has such a window, too, and due to federal regulations, it’s actually ILLEGAL to get out of your truck!

As a result, sometimes the only way my legs get stretched and my backside relieved from bearing its load is going to the restroom. I mentioned to the older brother (who interviewed me for this job) that I was on water pills and needed to drain my tank more often than the average guy. I think it’s become obvious that I wasn’t joking. Unfortunately, there have been times that my sum-total of pit stops have caused me to miss a deadline, like when the mine closes, and I can’t get another load for that day.

That happened today, when I missed the slot by only FIVE MINUTES, and I felt sort of bad, because I know the dispatcher would have had me stop, as I drove by on my way back from a delivery, and load up something they could use at the shop.

As I sped toward town in my Mack, the answer to the problem hit me like a ton of bricks! I was sure the boss brothers would go for it, as it should translate into better use of my time and more profits for them. I was really anxious to get to the shop and relay my thoughts on the subject. So, after doing my post-trip inspection and fuel up, I approached them with my idea.

You see, I’ve got a bit of Scottish blood on my father’s side, so I could rightfully wear a kilt if I chose. If I did so, and went “commando,” I could install a catheter, put the end of the tube through a small hole in the floor and drive and drain! Despite trying to sound very upbeat and convincing in my presentation, neither brother wanted anything to do with the idea. Maybe it was the thought of having to drill a hole in the floor of the truck. Still, I just don’t understand why they didn’t consider my great idea more seriously. © 2015


buddeshepherd said...

Are not catheters sort of uncomfortable to install?

M. Silvius said...

Here's a solution

Mamahen said...

I just can't understand WHY they wouldn't go for it ;))

Gorges Smythe said...

Sort of like having a baby in reverse, I've been told, Budd.

Very practical for most folks, Michael, but I suspect that would be nearly as difficult for a fat guy as peeing in a cup. lol

I don't either, Mh!

Sunnybrook Farm said...

They had those in WW2 fighter planes and they were called relief tubes. The only problem and it would be a problem in your cold truck as well, was that the tube would freeze and then the cockpit would start getting ice on the floor. You would need to run the pipe over the exhaust to keep the end hot. Might make a cute cloud of steam when you use it!

Gorges Smythe said...

SF, if a cop stopped me for emissions, I could always tell him the engine was doing a regen!

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

Here you go, you keep this attached

Gorges Smythe said...

LOL! That's interesting, Kathy! Now, I'm going to take shelter anytime a plane flies over! (I've heard their toilets used to dump into the air, until some of it landed on some people, but I don't know if that's true.)

Ed Winkle said...

I think I have way too much Scottish blood from both sides but the pipes still make me tingle.