Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Wandering, Wondering, Stealing And Lying (w/pic)


Click image to enlarge.

I suppose Wally World is sort of like a theme park to the missus. She goes there to be entertained as she walks for her health. To me, it’s a place to be avoided, unless you have an overpowering NEED to go there. The other day, while the missus did her usual wandering around that great Chinese Emporium, I took the opportunity to wander a bit on the outside. The railroad tracks run just behind the store, and a very short bimble southward on them brings you to what was obviously a home-site at one time. I silently wonder if it was a fine big home here by the tracks, or some leaning little hovel. Regardless, the evidence of its existence is the huge maple tree still standing on the slight rise, and the pretty patch of mixed white and yellow daffodils. These things are surrounded by a tiny forest in its infancy—mostly low value hardwoods about the size of your shins.

The place actually belongs to the mall next door, so entering from the back of the site is less likely to attract the attention of the security guy in his little jeep-like vehicle with the flashing yellow light. Though the home is long gone, there stands a huge steel tank and a small cement-block building on the site that probably haven’t been used since the place was a grass-strip airfield 50 years ago. The forest is kept at bay around the tank, for the mall dumps snow there during the winter and dirt from repair projects through the summer. When it gets too rough to drive an end-loader over, they grade the lumps down a bit. The fill never seems to get very deep.

I had no real reason to go there the other day, for the only wild edibles I’ve seen growing there were pokeweeds, and that was later in the season. Soon after I left the rail-bed, I almost stepped on the blade of an old square shovel. It had plainly been there for decades, but I’d never noticed it before. It was warped a bit, making me wonder if it might have been in a fire at one time. It had been a high quality tool with a solid socket and holes for TWO rivets. Naturally, the handle was long gone. I figured that I could stick a piece of tree-limb in the socket and get a couple bucks from the antique dealer. I took it with me as I continued hobbling through the edge of the fledgling forest, scanning both the wooded area and cleared area as I went. I saw no plants of interest, except the daffodils, and finally entered the cleared area, as I got to the far side of the site.

Looking back, I could see a pile of empty beer bottles and two silver-colored “bottles” near the tank. Walking over to the pile, it was obvious that the silver items were two stainless bottles of high quality. There they lay in the grass, dirty, but undamaged. They had so caps, however. Adding them to my haul, I walked out the front of the site into a small lawn area and hobbled, as quickly as my crippled feet and hips would allow, over to Wally World’s parking lot and on to my truck. I was technically trespassing on the mall property, though there was no sign to be seen, so I basically was stealing the items that I’d found lying on the old home-site, though they would probably have lain there until covered up with dirt.

Putting my haul in the truck’s bed, I noticed that the bottles had the name “KleanKanteen” on them. Looking them up online, when I got home, I learned that the bottles cost $25 each, and caps can be ordered for $5 each, plus shipping. After I keep them in the basement a while, I’ll pull them out and tell the missus that I found them there. Then I’ll order the caps, clean the bottles well and use them. (She’d never tolerate me using them, if she knew the last user might have been a drugged up, disease-ridden drunk.)

I can’t say that I’m proud of my actions, but I’ll ask the Lord’s forgiveness and NEVER TELL MY WIFE THE TRUTH! Some folks may say that I’ve now stepped upon the road to perdition; I can only solicit their prayers. © 2016


Ralph Goff said...

You are a forager just like me Gorges. I can't resist something free. Although I have become a little more selective over the years.

Gorges Smythe said...

Maybe "scrounger" comes closer, Ralph.

Chickenmom said...

I'll say a wee prayer to protect 'ya Gorges! :o)

Gorges Smythe said...

Thanks, Cm. I need all of those that I can get! ;-)