Monday, July 4, 2016

Walkin’ In The Rain (Unnecessarily)

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I’m not sure it’s true, but I’ve heard that white domestic turkeys are so stupid that you don’t dare leave them out in the rain. They’ll spend so much time looking up to spot the source of all that water (and end up with so much water in their lungs) that they’ll drown. Personally, I think the folks that tell that tale are probably pulling our leg, but it does illustrate how overzealous selective breeding might negatively affect a species.

People, too, are selectively bred, apparently. Generation after generation of stupid people have had offspring for so long that most modern folks really don’t have sense enough to come in out of the rain. I’ve come to this conclusion from looking at people on the streets during rainy weather. When a downpour comes up, most don’t wait it out like I used to see people do. They just walk around without rain boots, raincoats, hats or even a newspaper over their heads. Worse, many pedestrians start off a rainy day by walking out of the house and into an already falling rain without any protection whatsoever. That’s far more foolish than being out and getting caught in a rain unexpectedly.

Now, this isn’t to say that I always used my best sense when I was younger, but I’m a wise old geezer now and know better. They say that getting wet and cold will NOT give you a cold, and that colds are caused solely by germs. They’re half right. What they aren’t telling you is that being wet and cold puts physical stress on the body, MAKING IT MORE SUSCEPTIBLE to such germs. Any livestock farmer can tell you that, but many medicos like to be technically correct while being completely devoid of common sense.

There IS a handy little device which can keep a lot of rain off your body—the umbrella. Most folks today seem to have never heard of one, if we are to judge by their actions, despite the fact that they’ve been around for about 4,000 years now (literally). It seems that only some women, but nearly no men, carry them on rainy days, except for a lot of old people, who were born before all the common sense was bred out of our species.

Back when I was still driving dump truck, the weatherman predicted a day of intermittent downpours. Since I’m old and slow and the parking lot at work was rather large, I took my big black umbrella with me. The old codger who ran the loader (only a wee bit older than myself, really) was teasing me about it in front of the other drivers. My reply was that any self-respecting rock truck driver ALWAYS carried his bumbershoot. Some of the drivers got a good laugh from my silliness, but the loader man looked as if I’d completely lost my mind. The last laugh was on him, though, when he got soaked to the skin running to his loader. I couldn’t resist pulling alongside in my work truck and asking if he’d like to borrow my umbrella. I SWEAR the man growled at me!

So, now you know what I think of the intelligence of the average modern American. AND, if you go out unprepared, get soaked and end up with the sniffles, just remember, you’ve been warned. (My mama would be so proud!) © 2016
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5 comments:

Vicki said...

Common sense has gone the way of the Dodo bird, hasn't it! I have often thought it a shame that there is no cure for stupid. :)

Kathy Felsted Usher said...

I always kept one in the car but didn't have to use it much until this year when our office moved to a building with outside parking. Now I have one in my computer bag in case it starts while I am inside, plus one in the car.

Chickenmom said...

Yellow raincoat, rubber boots, rain hat and umbrella. Everyone had them - a long time ago! And us older gals remembering always having those little accordion folded plastic rain hats somewhere in the bottom of our purse!

deborah harvey said...

actually i hjave heard it said that drowning in rain is true of the nestlings.

in one of his books gene logsdon had a chapter titled 'turkeys'.
you turned the page and there was one word--'don't!!'.

fiona at 'confessions of a crazed cattlewoman' has done well with their heirloom turkeys.
maybe gene had the human bred stupid ones.
the wild turkeys here in the city are doing all right, though.

Gorges Smythe said...

Doctors would probably STILL try tom sell you a pill for it, Vicki! ;-)

Wise lady, Kathy!

Yeah, my mom and sister had one of those rain hats in their purses, Cm.

I think the only wild ones that have trouble are the little ones in the nest, for the first couple days, dh.