Like a lot of fat folks, I didn’t start out that way (see photo at bottom of post); things just sort of crept up on me. Even during my teen years, work on the farm and sawmill kept me reasonably trim and muscular. My uncle had a clothing store downtown at the time, and I bought a lot of my clothes there. His son (10-15 years older than I) worked there and was often the one to fit me. (Remember those days, when stores had seamstresses?) He always laughed and told me that I had a “nigger butt.” I was wide enough in the shoulders, and less so through my stomach and hips, and actually a bit narrow front to back through the waist. He was right about my butt, though. Needless to say, as my belly got bigger over the years, so did my backside. I guess that makes me better balanced, front to back, but I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
Starting about 20 years ago, most stores quit carrying sizes for fat guys. There was only one place left in town where I could still get jeans and, sadly, they were made in China. I always got about three sizes too large, so I’d have plenty of room in the seat and thighs. Then, the manufacturer got the bright idea of cutting 8 inches of fabric from the seat and 4 from each thigh. They no longer fit well enough to be worth buying. I checked even larger sizes, but they keep the same seat and thigh sizes and just blow out the waist.
SO, I found ONE place on the internet (DXL) that stocked what was supposed to be my size. Knowingly, I STILL ordered a waist size 6 inches larger than I should require. The jeans came in two days ago. They SEEMED to fit at first. They didn’t give me as much room as I expected, but standing there, they felt okay and my wife said that they looked good. They COULD have used a couple more belt loops. It always amazes me that companies add inches to the waist, but never add belt loops. They sure try to save money in strange places.
Then I tried to squat to put the leash on the dog. It might have worked if she was an Irish wolfhound, but there was no way that those jeans were going to let me put a leash on a dachshund. Then, I went to put my wallet in my hip pocket and there WAS none. My wife assured me that there was, but it was clear around just at the back of my hip bone. When I went to put my penknife and keys in my front pockets, I discovered that they, too, were around by my hipbone, only about two inches in front of my “back” pockets. Plus they were barely big enough to put my hand in. I guess I’ll keep them, since the only pair of jeans I own that isn’t patched currently NEEDS patched. I won’t be ordering any more of this type, though. I thought that it was interesting that they were made by Wrangler, yet Wrangler’s website doesn’t list anything beyond 6 sizes below what I ordered. If I ever get the money to spare, maybe I’ll try their carpenter jeans, but I suspect they’ll fit even worse. I realize that some fat guys are buttless wonders, buy I ain’t one of them!
Maybe I’ll just get me some burlap bags at the feed store and start making myself burlap kilts to wear. THAT should certainly raise a few eyebrows! © 2016