Thursday, May 11, 2017

Oddball Observations On A Rainy Morn

We had a short storm just before bedtime last night and light rain nearly all night. It began showering again just after the pooch and I returned from her dumping ground this morning. As I sat in the swing, she lay on the welcome mat where I’d insisted she go to keep her off the cold concrete. The breeze picked up slightly and the left knee of my jeans and my bare ankles felt cool from the mist that was blowing into the windward side of the porch. The Mighty Dachshund, though, was protected by the swing and my ponderous bulk, so lazed moisture-free on the mat. After a few mutually enjoyed minutes, the missus came to the door and told me it was too damp and cold to have the pooch out there. Translated, that means she was getting lonely inside by herself. Even the pooch knows there’s no need to argue, so she turned obediently to the door and we went inside.

As I tried to get to sleep last night, I was remembering some of the kids that I went to high school with. I eventually remembered one girl that I had a crush on, but she was always dating some scruffy little tough-_ss who she thought she was in love with. Ironically, I sometimes dated the girl’s best friend. She once told me that her friend said that I was a good kisser and immediately asked if her friend was a good kisser, too. I grinned and said, “She is NOW!” the girl was DEEPLY offended by the implication. The following year, she got angry at the guy and took a temporary break from dating him, but I was still on her black list and knew better than to ask her out. She eventually married and quickly divorced the scruffy little character. A couple years ago, I noticed her name on one of the posts of a Facebook friend and checked her page, only to discover that she’s now a loyal democrat and what the Bible calls a “respecter of persons.” The information sort of turned a pleasant memory sour.

After a short trip outside with the pooch during the night, I realized that I would have some trouble getting back to sleep. Therefore, I took a couple minutes to glue a wooden plug in a tool handle I’m working on. Unfortunately, I dripped glue onto my belly hair and my jockey shorts. The Gorilla Glue came out of my belly hair this morning with a little scratching from my fingernails, from the jockey shorts – nada!

I’ve always had trouble with a blood vessel in my right nostril that’s right on the surface. When I got in a round of fisticuffs on the grade school playground, it was easily set to bleeding so that I looked like I’d lost, even if I’d won. It would also take to bleeding if I blew my nose too hard, or even just sometimes in my sleep (if my sinuses dried out too much). Last week, it got painful and swelled up, as if it had herniated vessel walls, or was a small aneurism or something. I put some antibiotic crème on it, in case it had gotten infected somehow, but that seemed to have no effect. THEN, I remembered that hemorrhoids are basically aneurisms and Preparation H always worked well on the small one that used to bother me on occasion. In fact, I knew that I had some of the magic compound in the bathroom drawer. SO, I tried it and five days later the pain and swelling is gone. Was it time or the ointment? I don’t know for sure, but it seems that what’s good for the bum is good for the schnoz. I just thought you’d want to know that. © 2017

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