Thursday, June 7, 2018

Persona Non Grata

That's what the missus and I were to her son's first wife. She had a mental mother, who had raised her to be a mental daughter. She made it plain that we weren't welcome in her home, speaking to us only when spoken to, despite us treating her like a princess. Despite working full-time, it was always HIM that we saw cooking, cleaning or doing laundry when we stopped by. All we ever saw HER do was sit, smoke, drink coffee and watch TV. We gradually got to where we rarely saw them. They never stopped by our place and never brought our granddaughter to see us. Once our daughter-in-law began working, our little granddaughter spent every day with her OTHER grandparents. We became the invisible grandparents. The missus put up with it, rather than cause trouble for her son, but they eventually divorced anyway. From soon after the divorce until she got a job as a teenager, I sent her a little money every month, in part so she'd remember that she had TWO sets of grandparents. I never heard a single thank you for it.

The granddaughter was sweet on the rare occasions when we saw her, but the die was cast and her father rarely brought her by when he had her. We hoped, when she got her driver's license that she might get adventurous and drive the five miles into the country to see us. I think she may have done it one time, if at all.We didn't get a graduation invitation when her high school years were over.

When she went to college, I got her email from her dad and sent her a half-dozen emails over the course of the first couple years. After a two week delay, she answered the first one, but no more. I sent her no more emails after the second year.

A couple days ago, I was getting rid of outdated email addresses and came across hers. I deleted it along with a few others. Yesterday, I was adding a business card to my card file and came across her address at college. Since she's now graduated and is back in town, I threw that away, too. Her and the boy she's been living with have bought a house across town and are to be married about a year from now. I wish them well, but I won't try to be a part of their lives. It's sad, but it's time to move on and quit pretending that she's family. Copyright 2018


Vicki said...

I'm sorry, Gorges. Kids can be so thoughtless, but even more so when taught to be by their parents. The saddest part of all is that your granddaughter has grown up without knowing what kind, loving grandparents she has. Don't shut the door, for there is always the chance that she may gain enough common sense to see the error of her ways.

Mamahen said...

So many families never see one another these days. I'm sorry you both were treated this way.

Gorges Smythe said...

I'm not exactly closing the door, Vicki, but I'll have to see some interest on her end before I put any more thought into it.

Some folks have worse problems, Mh; guess I shouldn't complain.